Stacy reminded me that I never posted the results of my cookie baking night.

I was given the task of using and making cookie press cookies. It was thought that this was one recipe I couldn't fuck up. Little did they know. At this point, nothing should surprise them, but it still seems to happen.

Now, have you ever seen a cookie press? I hadn't, which is probably a good thing or else I probably would have never eaten those particular cookies before. You see, a cookie press looks extremely similar to a penis pump.

Cookie Press

Penis Pump

After much giggling and many dirty jokes, the process started. The dough was made, and tasted fine (yay, got it that far at least!). It was decided after a batch of plain colored ones, that those were just to dull, so we added some green food coloring to some of the dough and made some trees. Because we lacked other colors, we tried putting in some pink sprinkles. This caused the cookies to come out a orangish-pink color. We happened to have some purple sprinkles, so I figured, what the hell and gave those a try.

Bad idea. I could tell it was a bad idea while I was mixing them in the dough. It just kept turning darker and darker gray. Gray, what a lovely Christmas color. After much laughter, and some baking, they eventually came out a light colored grayish-purple. Someone claimed I took all the Christmas spirit out of the Christmas tree shaped cookies.

Later, when someone came home and was looking at our cookies, he said, "So, what's with these gray, fossil-looking cookies?"

I would like to state for the record that at least they tasted like they were supposed to taste.

So, there you have it. I've burned them, put to much salt in them, made them fuzzy, and now I've made them gray and fossil-looking. Not the best track record, but they invited me back next week. I think they keep me around for the entertainment value.

Tonight I am getting together with my friend to bake cookies. We've been doing this every year since high school, nearly 10 years at this point. This night has taken on many names, the most common being the 'Annual Cookie Making Night'. I'm more inclined to call it the 'Let's See How Meimur Will Fuck Up The Recipe This Year' night. One year, I burned them. Another year, I put to much salt in them. Last year, for some reason the cookies ended up feeling fuzzy like pipe-cleaners. We still don't know what went wrong with those.

I really can cook, I swear it! For some reason though, the Christmas cookies always suffer.

Off to make the doughnuts cookies!